Birthright

Birth Stories I:

1) Xiumei’s Birth Story
2) Gwen’s Birth Story
3) Agnes’s Birth Story

1) Xiumei’s birth story

Giving birth to Cara (my 2nd child) was one of the most wonderful experiences that God could possibly give me. I had always wanted a natural birth (though I had no idea how to put it to concrete plans) after the delivery of my 1st child – Benedict, whose birth had all the medical interventions possible.

With Benedict, I was a first time mother and ill-informed one. I was the 'perfect' patient – obedient and unquestioning of my birthing options. I was told to induce his birth because the doctor thought he was getting too big. I do not remember being given other options. Instead the picture that was painted, at least to me, was that induction was a 'normal' birthing
procedure.

So I was induced and I could not take the pain. It was so unbearable at one point that I was trembling when I tried to walk to the toilet. I was also in cold sweat. The hospital staff kept telling me to ask for pain relief at any time.

I did try taking the gas but used it wrongly. I hyperventilated and felt very ‘high’ and drowsy but the pain was still there. Finally I had an epidural. Throughout labour, I had no food and drink, only ice cubes.

When it was time to push, I felt like a robot, being told when to push. I never felt so tired in my life. After almost half an hour of active pushing, the doctor said I needed help because the amniotic fluid looked green. I had to have an episiotomy and vacuum birth.

After Ben’s birth, he was taken away, put in the warmer and had a host of ‘standard procedures’ done. I could not hold him immediately. Recovering after birth was also no fun. Thanks to the episiotomy, I could hardly walk; I sat and walked like a duck (a very old one). My wound took almost more than a month to be healed. I was also in deep pain - which didn't help in my breastfeeding efforts. I really thank my hubby. mother and my mother-in-law for making my breastfeeding journey a success.

When I got pregnant again, I knew that I didn't want to go through the same kind of birth experience. But I made the same mistake of NOT doing anything concrete towards planning for a natural birth. I just told my hubby and doctor that I didn't want a controlled and intervened birth.

When I was 37 weeks, I was seeing my doctor once a week. I was putting on quite a lot of weight. Again, I said I did not want to have an induced birth. My doctor just brushed all this aside. He just told me to watch my diet as baby was becoming heavier, according to ultrasound scans.

A week later, urine test results showed I had raised sugar levels. My doctor lectured me on this and started talking about the need for induction. I was pretty stressed out during the whole weekend following the consultation because I knew that if I did nothing, history would repeat itself.

I called Pat and another doula to see what options they could help me out with. Thankfully, Pat (whom I got to know from one of the parenting group) gave me some advice over phone and I told her that I would like her to help me with drawing up with a birth plan. We met up and she gave me a crash course on natural birthing.

I drew up the birth plan and corresponded with Pat in fine-tuning it. On the night of 25 Sept, I felt a little gush of fluid. Instinctively, I knew that my waterbag had broken or leaked. I messaged Pat immediately and we spoke. She told me it was possible that I could go into labour soon and that scared me because I had not finished the birth plan yet! At the same time, I decided not to inform my doctor, as I felt fine, except for that little leak.

Two days later, I corresponded with Pat via email and finally got the birth plan firmed up. I was still leaking a little that day.

On 28 Sept, I was scheduled to see my doctor that evening. I was feeling pretty good,
except that I leaked a bit more today. In fact, I felt so good that even had the strength to carry 4 big books on natural birthing and natural pain relief - talk about last minute preparation!

I told my doctor about the leak when I saw him and he was quite surprised that I didn't inform him earlier. I showed him the birth plan and told him why my husband and I felt it was important for us to have a natural birth for Cara. Among other things, I asked if I could refuse too many vaginal exams. He told me if I insisted, he would rather not see me as a patient. His
reasoning was that he needed to do the VE as part of the assessment for me.

Then when I told him I did not want to be induced, he gave me 2 options - ie, to be induced, or be given a course of antibotics as the waterbag had broken and there was a chance of infection. Throughout the consultation, the message clear: "Be induced or face the consequences.”

Even before I left the consultation room, he reiterated that I was welcome to be admitted for induction anytime I wanted. That evening, the consultation lasted for about an hour and I was the last patient to leave.

I was so stressed out that night. I called Pat after the consultation and we discussed the options. On one hand, I do not want my decision to harm my baby in any way (which was what my doctor had been scaring me with!) On the other hand, I really wanted a natural birth. In the end, I decided to seek a 2nd opinion the next day from another doctor who is well known for his natural birthing philosophy and practice.

I slept at almost 1am and woke up with contractions at 4am. My first thought was, "Oh, this is it.” Now, you would think that after birthing Ben, I should know how contractions feel like right? Wrong! Because I was induced, the contractions then were super duper BAD. The pain that I experienced now felt more like slight menstrual pain. I was so tired that I continued sleeping without even telling my hubby about it.

At 5am, the pain came again. This time, I was staining a bit of blood. I messaged Pat about
this. Fell back asleep briefly and woke up at 6am+ to measure the frequency and length of the contractions. Realised that I was having 20-30secs-long contractions every 15 minutes.

Decided to wake my husband up and asked him to go and bathe. I had a bath too. We had breakfast before leaving for the hospital at 8am. By then, the contractions were getting longer and the intervals much shorter.

By 8.30am when we reached the hospital, I could barely walk when the contractions came, but I refused to use the wheelchair because I wanted to be mobile which would help the labour along. I had even planned to walk around the hospital till I could not take the pain before checking into the delivery suite. But the pain was getting too close for comfort. The nurse wanted to do a vaginal exam before the doctor came. They also asked me whether I
needed any pain relief (at this early stage!) I refused both offers.

I was happy to stand and rock my hips left and right whenever the contractions came, to manage the pain. When the doctor came, he quickly rushed me into the delivery suite and the midwife and the nurses quickly prepared me for the delivery. He did a vaginal exam. But when he saw that I was 5cm dilated, he went off for his morning outpatient appointments. I requested to lie on my side instead of on my back.

I was lying there, managing the pain with relaxed breathing and trying not to be anxious and hyperventilate. Surprisingly, though the pain was huge when it came, it was very manageable. At one stage, the pain actually 'forced' a gush of liquid out of my vagina – I think that should be the rest of the amniotic fluid. When I asked my hubby to take a look - he said it was a
pool of water with some blood. After that, I was lying there, managing the pain as it comes. The nurses were calling my doctor to come back because I was in transition.

Shortly after, I gave a cry as the pain was immense. The midwife, looking at me, quickly asked me to lie on my back and after checking, she told me I was fully dilated and could start to push. I was actually quite surprised, yet relieved, that the 2nd stage of labour was not so long. I pushed for about 5-10 minutes and could fully experience the 'ring of fire' (baby’s head crowning). The midwife told me to STOP pushing (as I was beginning to tear already - she
managed to hold the tear - don't ask me how!) I blew out air slowly to guide the baby out.

Once Cara was born, as indicated in the birth plan,she was quickly brought to me on my chest for me to cuddle and comfort. As Pat had mentioned, birth is also a traumatic and stressful event for the baby. Coming out into the world for the first time, out from the
darkness in the womb, I can imagine it was indeed comforting for the baby to be held by mummy and talked to gently. THAT moment was precious and priceless – Cara looking up into my eyes and me talking to her. After cuddling her for about 15 minutes, I let them clean and weigh her. My hubby also cut the umbilical cord as indicated in the birth plan. I put Cara to the breast after a short while.

The doctor took quite some time to come and deliver the placenta and to stitch up the tear.

I healed so fast that I was discharged the next day! Now, I really believe in the wonders of NOT having an episiotomy!

Some last thoughts:

Choose a doctor who would support you in the kind of birth you would like. If you do not, it is like choosing a pair of wrongly sized shoes. It may look good but it doesn't feel good and you would end up with blisters all over.
I finally realised the meaning of letting your body take control of birthing when you don't use artificial pain relief. You can't control it, really, its just Nature taking over.
Healed marvellously fast without an episiotomy.
Cara was born at 3.59kg even though the doctor kept saying I would have a big baby! So now I don’t trust a scan entirely. The margin of error, according to my doctor is 10% - which is quite substantial since the baseline weight is small!
I thanked the midwife who delivered Cara for her fabulous effort, experience and skills. Even at Ben’s birth, the midwife was great. Now, I believe that midwives could deliver a baby as well as, if not better than many doctors, who are losing their clinical skills since technology has replaced many good old practices. It’s a pity that midwifery courses are no longer popular!
Thank God for Pat - she's really a God-sent to us!

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2) Gwen’s birth story

Tues, 10 October 2006

6.30am Dreamed that I'm swimming in a swimming pool and a little kid told me that I was going to give birth. Felt a bit of water leaking, thought maybe want to pee so woke up to go to toilet. Realised it's not pee, but should be water bag leaking...

7.00am Called hospital to check what to do next and they say to come in now.

7.30pm Leave for hospital. SMSed Pat and Pam. Both replied via SMS and called respectively to say no need to go hospital so early and to call doctor instead. Turn back from PIE and decided to go buy breakfast and wait instead.

8 to 10am Very mild infrequent contractions. At home, ate breakfast, watched TV. Henry took his time to call his office and settle his stuff... Mum, grandma, auntie kept calling asking us to go hospital fast, or we may not be in time later. But we were prepared to wait, so we just said “ok ok, we’ll go soon...”. Called doc and he asked us to go into his clinic for a check first.

10.30 to 11.45am Mild & infrequent contractions. Reached doc’s clinic. Dr Tseng deemed that a VE would be appropriate. At least 100-200ml water came out when he did the VE. Only 1 cm dilated, so he said to go back and wait and don't be too concerned about the leaking, cos water will replenish itself as long as baby is ok. He advised that if not going into labour, then will do induction on Wed morning, over 24hrs since waterbag leaked to prevent infection to the baby.

12 to 3.30pm Decided to go for lunch and walk around, which should help with labour rather than go home to sit and wait, which is not so good. Went to Toa Payoh Central to walk around. More contractions and getting more intense. Needed to stop walking when it came.

4.30 to 7.30pm Realised there was a traffic jam on the PIE, so decided to go to grandma's place at Upper Paya Lebar instead of returning home; it was closer to Mt Alvernia Hospital, to avoid being stuck in a traffic jam during labour.... Rested at Granny's place asking not to be disturbed. Contractions came on and off, quite intense at times... Henry encouraged me to walk around the room. Started tracking contractions. 20-30 mins...

7.30 to 10.30pm Went home, cos no more traffic jam. Contractions still not frequent enough. Mum and everyone else kept asking us to go to hospital again... but we decided to wait...

Wed, 11 October 2006

12 to 4am Slept in between contractions. Contractions mostly intense ones from now, but still 20mins or so apart and not regular... Why is my labour so long??? Waking Henry when I get my intense contractions to rub my lower back hard to help divert pain from the belly.... At 3am, the contractions getting regular, about 10 to 15mins apart. Told Henry we are making progress and will go to hospital when contractions were about 5 to10mins apart.

4am Told Henry it was time to go, contractions about 8-10mins... Can't be bothered to change. Not forgetting to bring the Jelly Heat Pad.... Mum helped to rub my back while Henry got ready... He needed to clear his bowel first thing in the morning first. Why is it him and not me! Why am I not having the urge to clear my bowel yet? hehehe....

4.45am Contractions were very intense already... Told them about birth plan and asked them to get my chair and extra pillow. Strapped to CTG for 20 mins... Henry did the registration, which took forever... I NEED HIM HERE TO MASSAGE ME!!!!

5.15am CTG showed contractions is 3 to 5 mins apart. Decided to have enema, cos I don't think I cleared my bowel enough for the last 48hrs, better have more out so that I don't need to be concerned about moving my bowels after the labour... Gosh... Enema is fast man... I can't hold for more than 5 mins... They wanted to do VE, but we declined and told them that we will only do VE closer to the birth. Nurses had to agree, cos it was in the birth plan signed by the doctor.

5.15am to 11am Pain continued, but Baby still not here yet. Water continued to leak. Finally had feeling of bearing down, though not sure if it's strong enough... Walked around, sat on chair, lay on my side...

11am OK, agreed to get them to do a VE in the hope that it's time to get the doctor and give birth... What??? Just 4cm??? Gosh... Told Henry to give me an Epidural else he's going to lose his wife... Henry and I had communicated a lot in preparation for this and he encouraged me to bear with it a little longer and asked me to focus on the positive things and the reasons why we didn't want to go for drugged birth in the first place... OK, I agreed to wait a little longer...

11am to 12.30pm Pain continued. More massages & heat pads. It was hard on me, but not easy for Henry too... Pain was so intense that I couldn't stand anymore and even shivered a lot during the contractions so I lay on my left side. More blood came out. Happy about that as that shows progress... Another motivation to not use the epidural... 1 contraction at a time... "It's all for Enya... You can do it... We talked about it, focus on the good point".

12.30pm Bearing down feeling is very strong, I didn't push, but Baby kept pushing on her own... Henry said we let them do another VE so they could call doctor... OK, 1 more time and that's it. They did and ascertained that I'm 7cm dilated. It was so uncomfortable and that's it... NO MORE VEs!!!

1pm Dr Paul came and said that I'm progressing well. Remember that Pat asked me to ask him if baby was posterior and if that was why labour was so long. He said since my pain is mostly in the belly area rather than back, it's not likely to be posterior. He said that first births usually take longer... I asked about Gas and he said that it could help relieve pain. Asked if it will cause nausea and all that, he said that some people don't like the smell... OK, decided to go for gas later when can't take it anymore.

1.30pm to 3pm More intense pain and faeces coming out at times. Henry helped to clean me most of the time, only a couple of times by the nurse. We were prepared for that and brought wet tissues. Gosh... what a job for him :(

Started to use the Gas. It helped quite a fair bit, but the pain was still very intense with almost no breaks in-between. Nurse wanted to do a VE again, but NO means NO.... Told Henry if baby comes baby comes... Dr Tseng will just come later to stitch me up. NO more VE... Nurse could just see, from the dilation of the anus, to determine progress and whether to call doc...

Finally... the nurse told me Dr Tseng is on the way and I could push if there's urge to push. Or if I wanted to, I could wait till he got here. OK, I think I better wait for Dr Tseng... In a very short time, he arrived and asked what position I want to use to give birth to the baby. I'm already so tired that I can't get down of the bed. So I asked if it's ok for me to lie by my side to give birth. He said ok. Tried left side for a while, then right, but still can't get the baby out, so Dr suggest to lie on back with Henry supporting my back. OK we'll try that position. After about 4 to 5 contractions and pushes, finally Enya's out!!!!

She's immediately passed to me to breastfeed and when the cord stopped pulsating, Henry cut it. Without drugs, baby is so alert with eyes wide open while suckling for milk... So glad that we managed to have a drug-free birth. Had an episotomy though, cos nurse was saying that Dr Tseng tried to let me tear on my own, but without doing much perineal exercise earlier, I did not tear and Dr Tseng had to make a small cut.

Baby's out at 2.8kg, not as big as shown on scan, so don't believe in scans totally!

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3) Agnes’s birth story

My name is Agnes and I work as a finance professional. I had always wished for a natural birth for my children after having become acquainted with that subject. However, despite my best intentions, my first child was born in 2005 with the "help" of nitrous oxide and pethidine --- pain relief that made me drowsy and less aware of myself and my surroundings. During the labour, my gynae chose to do things his way without even consulting or getting my consensus. My water bag was burst to speed up the labour, and an episiotomy was done which contributed to a second-degree (or perhaps third-degree) tear that took two months to heal.

When I knew I was carrying my second child, I resolved to do all I could to have a natural birth the second time round. I signed up for a Natural Birth, Gentle Birth antenatal class with my husband. I sought a gynae who was pro-natural birth. I also prepared a birth plan that indicated my preferences for the birth of my second child --- basically, no drugs or medical intervention unless it was recommended by my gynae for medical reasons.

On Monday 25 September 2006, after confirming that I was having real labour contractions, I checked into Mount Alvernia Hospital in the wee hours of the morning. At the delivery suite, the nurse did a vaginal examination (VE) for me and noted that I was already 4 to 5 cm dilated. The fetal monitoring machine was strapped on my belly for just 15 minutes to confirm that my baby was doing well, and then it was removed. This was done in accordance with my birth plan.

Thereafter, I was free to walk about with my husband. We prayed while walking to take my mind off the labour pains. When the pain got more intense, we remained in the delivery suite and practised natural coping methods like standing and swaying when the contractions came. I also sipped some water and Milo and ate some biscuits to get some energy.

The nurse came to check on me periodically. She expressed her concern that if my water bag burst while I was standing, the baby could fall out! Sometime after that, I felt a mild urge to start pushing. The nurse did a VE and noted that I was 7 to 8 cm dilated. She said she could feel the water bag about to burst soon. Before she went out to call for my gynae, the nurse advised me to go and pee. While doing so, my water bag finally burst!

I made my way back to my bed as quickly --- or slowly --- as I could. The labour pain was becoming decidedly more intense. The nurse asked whether I wanted to lie down and whether I needed to use the nitrous oxide or pethidine and I firmly declined the pain relief. Instinctively, I went down on all fours. The nurse tried to do a VE and fetal monitoring while I was on all fours. It sure felt awkard and kind of funny because here I was in intense labour and there was this nurse frantically trying to see how much I had dilated and hear my baby's heartbeat to see if she was okay!

It felt like the longest wait in my life as I felt the strong urge to push but the nurse kept telling me to hold back until my gynae arrived. Finally he did and very soon after that, my baby Marianne was born.

Baby Marianne

Having a natural birth has empowered me to be in tune with my body throughout the entire birthing process. I was glad that I --- and not Medical Science --- was in control of my body and my baby. It was truly a miracle that I did not undergo an episiotomy and also did not resort to any artificial pain relief. To this very day, I remain convinced that that my baby is a happy, responsive and alert baby because she had the right start in life.

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